Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it glows. i had to have it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
