i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
