She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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