: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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