She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
