At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
