Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
