I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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