the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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