a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
