Who did Billy Mays play for?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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