I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
