Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
