I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
