Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize