I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
