yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
