I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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