these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
