I think I died a long time ago.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
