tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
