so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
