my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
