Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
