Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The air was thick with penises
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
