You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
