You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Come on in and take your pants off
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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