It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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