First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
