ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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