She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
