Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
