maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
