Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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