She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize