I puked a lego.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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