I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
