I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
