wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I will be naked everywhere
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
