Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
