i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
