Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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