put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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