It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
