So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
