Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
