At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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