dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
