Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize