you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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