She is in my trunk
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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