***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
