I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
