Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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