Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize