If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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