I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
