No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
