i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
