You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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