I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
