yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
