hell yes lets make some ravioli
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize