TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
