One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize