I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
