i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
