bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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